I Royally F**ked Up. Here's How I'm Getting Past It.
This was me the morning, after I sent an email intended for 18 people to my ENTIRE LIST--
You may have seen the email--since you're on my list and all. Unless you were one of the 18 people it was meant to go to, you were most likely confused.
For you, it may have just been an annoying email in your inbox. But most likely that was it--irritating. But for me IT FELT MONUMENTAL. It really felt pretty devastating in that moment. Can you relate? The mean girl voice in my head had A LOT to say about it.
OBVIOUSLY, I felt like crawling under a rock and never coming out.
When I thought about sending another email to my list I thought I'd do that...oh, I don't know...never. Living under a rock never sounded so good!
BUT.
I knew I needed to get past it and move forward. Why? Because the alternative was to not do my work in the world. And that thought is actually unbearable to me. So I tapped into my WHY.
We all have a WHY--it is the bigger reason we do what we do. It feels like purpose. It doesn't have to be related to work. We can have a WHY connected to many different things. For example--our core values. Being kind is a core value of mine, so if I'm in a situation that requires kindness (and what situation doesn't, really) I connect to that and take action. Does that make sense?
The second thing I did is I REACHED OUT.
Connection and community are KEY KEY KEY. Do you have connection and community in your life? I didn't always have it, and that sucked.
A dear friend immediately wrote me back and said:
Give
yourself
the
Grace
you
give
others.
She wrote it just like that--like a poem. And it was a profound moment for me to read that.
Because it is TRUE. I do give so much grace to others. It's not even something I need to think about, it just is WHO I AM.
EXCEPT TO ME!! Raise your hand if you give grace to others but judge the heck out of yourself?
So I read those words and I thought about all the times someone I follow emailed something out that wasn't meant for my eyes. It's happened a lot over the years because, you know...humans. And every time that happened I realized that I thought it was kind of fun to receive a glimpse into what else was going on in that person's world! And then I'd delete and go on with my life.
So I hope that is what you did--I hope you deleted and moved on with your day!
THREE STEP PROCESS:
1) Tap into your WHY. This helps you get some perspective on whatever it is that feels disastrous in the moment.
2) Reach out to your people--your people are the ones that love and support you no matter what. They lift you up. When we mess up, we really just need to hear that everything is going to be okay.
2) Give yourself grace. Reflect. Step outside of yourself and see things for what they are. And I know that sometimes things really are messed up. That's when we return to Step One. Remember--the hard stuff in our life ends. Time moves forward. And hopefully we grow and evolve as a result.
I hope this is helpful to you. As humans, we all have moments when we wish we could crawl under a rock and stay there. I also happen to know that we are really good at beating ourselves up and making ourselves wrong. None of that is helpful. It keeps us from our purpose and from what is important to us. And that's truly what is important.
I'd love to hear your story about "messing up" and how you've worked through it!
xoxo,
Elijah